Green Street Hooligans

This is the only time I can possibly write this and mean it. Elijah Wood is a badass. At least he is in Green Street Hooligans. Charlie Hunnam is a badass too (and sooo effing foxy btw), but you probably already know that. That is if you watch Sons of Anarchy. (Which you should if you don't!) Anyway it goes like this. Elijah plays Matt Buckner, who's just been expelled from Harvard's journalism program for the possession of cocaine (not his!). It's actually his douchey roomate Van Holden's but the kid's parents are powerful people who could cause Matt all kinds of trouble. So Matt's given $10,000 as hush money and is sent on his way. Not knowing what else to do, he goes to see his older sister and her husband in London. Once there... he really doesn't have much to do. His sister is taking care of her toddler and her husband Steve is working all of the time. But Steve comes up with a solution, his younger brother Pete (Charlie Hunnam) can hangout with Matt. Steve thinks it'll be great for Pete to take Matt to see West Ham play, Pete is not a fan of this idea but finally after a lot of talk (money!) he's convinced. Steve gives Matt the money for the football tickets and tells him to hold onto the cash (do not give it to Pete!). (Hmmm. Thanks bro.) As soon as they're around the corner Pete tells Matt he'll split the money with him, but he doesn't think it'd be a good idea for Matt to go to the game with him. Why not? Pete's friends are not real keen on new people. Matt won't budge, he promised Steve he'd see the game and (more importantly) he wouldn't give the money to Pete. Realizing he's not going to get the money unless he pounds Matt into the ground (his brother would not like that!), he gives in and takes Matt to the pub to meet the boys. They have a few beers then head to the stadium to see the match. (We also find out that their fight song is Tiny Bubbles. Yeah.) Pete's friends are the type of guys that most people hate when they go to games. The loud, obnoxious, want to start something with any and everyone routing for the other team assholes. (But, you know, in a lovable sort of way. Kind of.) After the game Matt decided to head home and let Pete and his friends hangout on their own. While in an isolated spot a couple of Birmingham fans jump him. It seems that during the game Pete's friend Bower was giving these guys alot of crap and since they saw Matt with Bower they assume he's one of "them". They're just about to give him the Chelsea Grin (think the Joker in The Dark Knight) when a few of the GSE (aka the Green Street Elite) arrive. Mostly it's Pete and a few of his friends, they're doing pretty well until more of the Birmingham guys show up. They just have to hold their own until Bower and the rest of the GSE make it to the party. It's a hell of a fight! Once the rest of the guys show they chase Birmingham off. Everyone decides Matt did pretty well considering it's his first fight, like, ever and make him an honorary member. So now we begin to learn about the GSE. See every football team in Europe has a "firm", its basically an overly zealous fanclub with a dab of gang thrown in. The GSE's sworn nemesis is Millwall's firm led by Tommy Hatcher. Back in the day Hatcher brought his 12 year old son to a fight and the kid got killed. He blames the GSE and the Major (GSE's former leader).

Bower is still not on the 'Matt is Awesome' bandwagon that the rest of the GSE seem to be on and he especially doesn't like how much time his best mate Pete is spending with the Yank. As far as Bower concerned Matt is a tool who needs to head back to the States, like pronto. But after a few fights with other firms where Matt proves that he has the GSE boy's backs, Bower's opinion begins to change. Maybe the Yank's not so bad after all. That is until another member of the GSE sees Matt head into The Times and makes the assumption that he's a reporter, he tells Bower about it and needless to say he's pissed. (Actually Matt's  meeting his dad, who is a reporter, for lunch.) Steve hears about it and heads to the pub to confront Matt before anyone else can. When Steve is spotted the whole pub welcomes him back, it's been a long time since then Major's been in the Abbey pub. Bower head to Pete's place looking for Matt, he tells Pete about what he's found out about Matt, and what he is going to do about it. Pete doesn't believe it at first, he warns Bower that he better be right, but when they find Matt's journal it doesn't look good. He's kept record of everything that's happened. Everything. Back at the pub the Major is telling Matt about his time in the GSE, about the last match he went to. Millwall vs West Ham United ten years before. How he left it all behind him after he saw Hatcher's son die in that fight. That he didn't know what to do with himself until he met Shannon (Matt's sister). But she swore to him if he ever went back to the GSE she'd leave him and take Baby Ben with her. (That's a little foreboding don't you think?)

It's right about then that Pete and the boys arrive. They toss poor little Matt around the pub like a ragdoll, Steve has to step in to stop it. (He's a journo! Are you sure? What?! He was writing about us! It was a diary! .....! ) What to do? The up-coming game vs Millwall is the biggest thing that's happened to the GSE in years, they can't risk something messing that up. Bower wants Steve to make the call to beat the snot out of Matt and toss him out. Steve says it's Pete's call, he's head of the GSE now not him. Pete says to leave off of Matt but Bower is not ok with this decision. (Fuck the GSE then!) Bower tears ass down to Millwall. He tells Hatcher that the Yank's an undercover journo, that he's got the rest of the firm eating out of the palm of his hand and that they're all down at the pub having a laugh. Well what's that got to do with Hatcher? The Major's there too. (Dun dun duunnnn!) The Millwall boys have come to the Abbey pub to play. And they've brought cocktails. Molotov cocktails. After a heated (Heh. Fire.) fight Pete, Bower and Matt have to rush Steve to the hospital, he's in bad shape. Wifey gets to the hospital awhile later, has a hissy fit on Pete, then goes to see Steve. The doctor's say he's going to be ok but it's going to take some time to heal... oh and yeah she's leaving. (What the hell! I'd like to state for the record I can't stand her! The only character I truely hate in the movie. Even the bad guys aren't as loathsome to me as she is.) Pete has a little talking to with the boys, they need to meet the Millwall firm and have it out once and for all. Tomorrow. Matt is amped! Let's do this! Yeah!..... Then Pete tells him to go with his sister, that it isn't his fight. Go. Home.

Show down at the wharf. Matt hauls ass to make it, there is noway he's going to stand idly by while his friends go to war. Whether they want him there or not, he's got their backs. (I won't lie to you, I cried like a bitch here. I blame the song that plays. Partly anyway.) Despite being tossed out of the GSE for betraying them Bower makes it to the fight, joins in and tries to help Pete the best he can. Hatcher took a crowbar to him and he's not doing to well. At that moment Shannon drives up, she apparently was paying attention when they were talking about the up-coming fight. Matt wants to put Pete in the car, but Pete wants her out of there. Hatcher would kill her or Baby Ben if he got the chance. Of course Hatcher then spots her and sends one of his boys to get her. Matt has to protect her but he's not doing too hot. Pete tells Bower if he wants to make up for what he's done, he has to get his brother's family out of here. Take them to safety. Hatcher sees that his moment for revenge is closing fast so he heads for Shannon, Pete (who's badly hurt) calls out to him. "Don't you want to finish me off?" Starts talking about his son, anything he can do to distract him, anything so that they can get away. So damn good! The last scene is awesome. Van Holden is in a very posh hotel meeting with other yuppie types when he steps to the bathroom. Guess who also heads to the bathroom? Matt gets Van Holden to admit that the cocaine was his all along, then he plays him the recording of him saying it back. Van Holden tries to take the tape but Matt shoves him into the wall. As he stands over him, fist raised to smash his face in, Matt smiles. And drops Van Holden to the floor. As he walks away from the hotel he begins to sing. "I'm forever blowing bubbles. Pretty bubbles in the air. They fly so high, nearly reach the sky. And like my dreams they fade and die...." So yeah. This is the only time I will call Elijah Wood a badass. Probably ever. Some may say he was kind of badass as Frodo. I would laugh (hysterically!) but, eh, to each their own.