My Boyfriend's Back

  I think I'll stick with zombie movies for the moment. My Boyfriend's Back is about a kid named Johnny Dingle who's been in love with Missy McCloud forever. But he's never had the nerve to tell her. One night Johnny comes up with a plan to fake a robbery at the convenience store where she works and pretend to save Missy's life. Well while he's waiting for his best friend Eddie to hold the place up a real bad guy comes in to rob the store. Johnny doesn't realize it isn't Eddie, so he tries to stop the him. No such luck. Missy runs to Johnny's side as he lays bleeding to death he finally asks her out. Would she go to the prom with him? Well yeah, he just took a bullet for her. But well, now he's dead. (How's that fair?) Later after a lovely funeral service Johnny comes crawling out of his grave. His parents do take his return from the dead remarkably well. Nah, he's not really dead. Sure he's a little paler but hey, who needs a tan? It's only after he sees the bullet hole in his chest that he realizes he's actually undead. Huh. And now Missy doesn't want to go to the prom with him. I mean, he came back from the dead to make this date! Fine. If she doesn't want to go to the prom, how about a movie? What does he take her to see on their date, you ask? To see Die Zombie Die. (Nothing says romance like a zombie taking his dream girl to see a zombie movie.) Which totally seems to work, if the make out scene that follows is any indication. There's just something about you now Johnny. (It must be the whole not having a  pulse thing. It's a huge turn on these days.) Until his ear comes off as she's nibbling it.

You see, Johnny's decaying. Alot. He goes to see Maggie Bensen, who's husband (according to rumor) came back from the dead 15 years ago. Johnny tells her he's worried about making it to prom night. She tells him the only way to stay undead instead of just dead is to, well, eat the flesh of the living. "What kind of friggin' nut are you? Telling me to go out and eat people!" Luckily for Johnny, the matter of killing someone is sorta handled for him. See, Buck (Missy's boyfriend) found out about her date with the dead kid, now he and his BFF Chuck want Johnny dead...um deader. Dead again. Whatever. Chuck's chasing Johnny wielding an axe, when whoops... Now there's a nice freshly dead kid at Johnny's feet. And Johnny's pretty hungry. When his very understanding parents find out about his new dietary quirk, mom picks up something special at the super market. Namely alittle boy. (I hope my mom is that thoughtful if I become part of the walking dead.) When Chuck's father shows up brandishing a rifle, Johnny takes the kid and hides. Mr. Dingle lets him in (such a trusting man), and when Johnny comes out thinking it's all clear, he's shot several times. When that doesn't work Big Chuck pulls out his lighter. That's when Mrs. Dingle whips out her shotgun. (Nobody sets her son on fire.) Btw. The little boy? He comes wandering out. Yeah that's Little Chuck, dead Chuck's baby brother. (Mom sure knows how to pick 'em.) Big Chuck takes his leave with Little Chuck in tow, Johnny's not eating his only surviving son! Now Johnny needs to talk to Missy, he didn't eat Chuck because he wanted to. He did it for her! He loves her. So will she please go to the prom with him? Next thing ya know, she's making out with the dead kid in public. Now that's just too much for Sheriff McCloud (Missy's dad)! She is not going to the prom with the dead kid! She's going with Buck! Not if Johnny can help it. He comes to sweep her off her feet, but while embracing all he wants to do is eat her.

Being chased by an angry mob is no fun, Johnny can tell you all about that. Chased into the cemetery by Big Chuck and crew he's about to made into a zombie barbeque. Then the gravedigger has a heart to heart with the crowd, talking them into leaving him be. He's dying anyway, just let him have his one last dance with Missy. So after a police escort they finally make it to the prom. Half way through their dance Johnny collapses. Next thing he knows he's waking up in.... purgatory? He's four days late for judgement! It seems there was a mistake. He wasn't actually supposed to die in the convenience store. The robber was actually supposed to knock over a coffee pot and slip in the coffee. He gets a re-do! Yay! So no this isn't your average zombie movie. It's a comedy and it very low on gore. But it is funny, in a goofy way. It also has a number of famous people in it. Phillip Seymour Hoffman plays Chuck, Matthew Fox plays Buck, Cloris Leachman plays Maggie and Matthew McConaughey is in for half a second. What can I say? I like offbeat movies.